Kids
Being a parent is hard. Whether it’s physical exhaustion from lack of sleep/ chasing kids around, or the emotional anguish from second-guessing any decision you made that day. It’s just incredibly difficult. Katie and I do our best to communicate with our daughters about everything in hopes that we raise them in such a way that they will be able to properly communicate with others in the future.
This all sounds good, but then I was diagnosed with MS, and telling them just seemed unimaginable. How do you explain a complicated medical condition to a 5- and 4-year-old? How do you help them understand what you don't fully understand yourself? And how could I tell them in such a way that doesn’t create fear in their little hearts?
I'd just finished telling my mom and sister about my diagnosis in person, and I'd called my brother on the way home, and I felt a weight on my shoulders that made the climb up the stairs to my house feel almost impossible. When I walked in the door, I knew Katie had already called her family, and I had just told my family except for the two most important little people in my life. They greeted me at the door and I knew that this was the opportunity to tell them about why Daddy’s feet were always bothering him. I told them I had a disease called MS and I am not sure what I was expecting but the “okay!” and the skipping down the hall wasn’t exactly how I drew it up in my mind.
As time has gone on, it has become clear how much they understand what is going on with me. They understand that because of my new medicine, it takes me a little longer to get up in the mornings. They know that I can’t eat the pizza and cake at their birthday party because it isn’t good for my MS. My youngest, who always chooses her mother as the preferred parent (saying "favourite parent" out loud hurts too much), has grown into my little champion and nurturer. Every time she tells someone about my MS, a little piece of my heart that had been broken from the diagnosis, heals.
I'm not sure what the future holds for my disease or how it will affect their lives in the future, but I'm happy we told them. I'm relieved that they understand why things are different for me now. We will do our best to continue communicating and sharing more with them about this journey as they grow older.
I do know one thing for certain: I have two more reasons to fight for my body and my life every day.
- Jesse