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My oldest daughter turned six last week, and it shook me to my core. When we found out we were expecting her back in 2014, I had never been more excited for anything in my life, and let me just add, she has lived up to the hype! I'd love to devote an entire blog just to her, but I'm afraid the tears streaming down my face as I typed would destroy my laptop.
Raising kids has been such a blessing in my life, and the stages that they go through are all unique, presenting new challenges and opportunities. I will say, whoever invented the term "sleeps like a baby" is a liar! The first eight months of her life were the most stressful eight months of our lives. Being a parent to her for the first year was difficult because everything was new to us, and every experience was a learning experience that we had to navigate daily. It did prepare us well for our second daughter though.
It's been interesting to watch her grow up and change from phase to phase to become who she is today. She's grown from this challenging newborn to the most caring, funny, compassionate, and bright light that she is now. If I close my eyes, I can see her and our lives so clearly in any of those stages from 0-6 years. All of those small moments have come together to deepen the love I have for her today.
My life has been extremely difficult over the last few months, with each conversation and experience being a first for me. MRIs, spinal taps, and relying on prescription drugs are all things I'm trying to navigate. Every appointment helps me prepare for the next, and every conversation I have about my illness makes things a little easier. Being a father and coping with an incurable illness are two very different experiences, but both have had a significant effect on my life.
I know the first year of having MS will be difficult, just like the first year of being a father. I'll remember how difficult it was in the beginning to tell people about my diagnosis without crying, and how much sleep I lost worrying about how that now 6-year-old might be affected by this. I also know that as I progress through each phase, the beauty of this journey will reveal itself, and that sometimes the beauty can often be found in the challenge.
- Jesse