The Office
I’ve been very open about my MS with family and friends, and like anyone these days, with strangers on the internet. Each conversation has evoked a variety of reactions, but they have all been largely positive and supportive. The only thing I haven’t done yet is tell the people I work with. I started a new job about 1.5 years ago and my role allows me to work from home 100% of the time (not related to Covid). Working from home is convenient for me, but it makes getting to know people and establishing relationships with colleagues more difficult.
I honestly don’t know why I haven’t said anything; I don’t fear their reactions, the people I work with all seem to be genuinely kind people. I believe they would be supportive and would be open to knowing and learning more. Maybe it’s because I don’t have the same kinds of relationships with my co-workers as I did at previous companies? Or perhaps it’s because I have no idea how to communicate it with everyone in a virtual setting…. should I send a message to everyone on Microsoft Teams saying, ‘hey everyone, by the way…’
The main reason, I believe, is that I’m just not ready to be that vulnerable with this group of people. It’s easy for me to be open and vulnerable with friends and family because I know that I have their love and support, without judgement (even after starting a company where I write multiple, super personal, blogs each week!). It’s easy for me to also share with strangers because their reactions/ opinions don’t carry the same weight as those of a loved one, and doesn’t affect my day to day.
My colleagues, on the other hand, seem to be caught in this awkward middle ground where they aren't strangers but also aren't viewed the same way I view my friends. As a result, telling them that I have multiple sclerosis will force me to be more vulnerable with them than I am currently prepared to be. If I tell them, I wonder if their opinions of me will change, or, worse, that they will overcompensate for the uncomfortableness and be too nice. You know the kind I mean, where it can sometimes feel like pity?
I know it’ll have to happen eventually. I don’t want this aspect of myself to be something that is hidden from any group of people in my life. Perhaps I can focus on developing deeper relationships with them first, so that being vulnerable and open isn’t so challenging.
I’m not sure when I’ll be ready to tell my news at work. Maybe I’ll wait until bonus time, because I definitely wouldn’t mind my boss being overly nice then!
- Jesse